The Call

The father is calling me from my play,
The sun, toys and friends to leave and obey?
I’m hungry and tired but I say:
No! I want to play
Even if you try to take my sun away.

This is no fair
My dad doesn’t care.

I stand my ground, but the gloom of the day,
Hunger and tiredness stay in my way.

At home the smell of the food
Improves my mood.
In the end, it wasn’t that bad.
The bath, the food, the story
The teddy bear and the pillow take all my worries away

Many years later he calls me again
As he comes closer the sun fades away
But I like it here and I want to stay.

To stay when he calls me to go is not easy
The toys lose their color, the games lose their meaning.
His wisdom to question again, I won’t do
I’ve learned that he knows me more than I do.

As I follow the father, the sun goes with him
He opens my mind and my soul to my dream.
A dream that’s more real than all of the games.
A dream that fulfills me and gives me a sense of purpose.

Now I’m certain that following you
Is what I’m meant to be and to do.

The poem is about a child who does not want to listen to his or her father when the father tells the child to stop playing but come inside. After some time the child understands that the father knows best and learns to trust him. The father is no longer a cold person that wants to cut his fun and make him feel miserable, but a father that is loving and his commands are meant for his own good. In the end, listening to the father it will bring more satisfaction than all that the child was doing to satisfy himself. It is very descriptive and it has something a lot of people can relate to. The father in this poem represents the God of the Bible and the child represents me. I am framing in this poem my spiritual journey and walk with a personal God, the father.
The father is calling me from my play,
The sun, toys, and friends to leave and obey?
I’m hungry and tired but I say:
No! I want to play
Even if you try to take my sun away.
The child is aggravated with the father’s request to leave his toys, friends and the outdoor. His desire to play is overpowered by his internal calls, hunger and tiredness, as well as the call of the father. Taking the sun away could be understood in two different ways: it’s evening and the sunset is close or the father is causing the shade. I want this line to represents both the evening, and the father staying very close to the child waiting for his response. This parallels the internal and external call in the child.
This is no fair
My dad doesn’t care.

I stand my ground, but the gloom of the day,
Hunger and tiredness stay in my way.
At this point the child does not trust that the father has best intends for him or her. He/She is still playing but it is no longer fun. No sun, hungry, tired and confused about the father's intentions the child gives in.
At home the smell of the food
Improves my mood.
In the end, it wasn’t that bad.
The bath, the food, the story
The teddy bear and the pillow take all my worries away
When the child walks in the home his mood improves, he is no longer resistive or angry to be called home. The verse „In the end it wasn’t that bad” makes clear that the change came in progressive. The first step is the cleansing bath. In my perspective, this was something the child would’ve rather skipped and go directly to the food. Clean and with his hunger satisfied he spends time with the father. The father cares enough to tell a story, answer questions and prove to the child that he cares about him or her. He has no more worries or doubts, no bitterness or regret. After that the child rests his body and mind. The child falls asleep and probably has a dream. A very nice end of the day. The end of thinking that the child knows best. The end of my struggle to be in charge.
I am this child who learned to trust the father. I am not talking about a human father, because I was raised by a single mom, I am talking about my heavenly Father, God.
Many years later he calls me again
As he comes closer the sun fades away
But I like it here and I want to stay.
No longer a child, I have to answer another one of the father’s calls. Another end of the day is approaching. I do not like it, I would rather stay where I am familiar and comfortable.

To stay when he calls me to go, is not easy
The toys loose their color, the games loose their meaning.
His wisdom to question again, I won’t do
I’ve learn that he knows me more than I do.
But I am not comfortable to stay when he is calling anymore. I play the game of pretending, just as I did when I was a child. But the call within and the call of the father grow stronger. The toys and games that enjoyed so much not long ago, does not look so appealing. I know that the father knows what is best for me, I learn to trust and obey him.
As I follow the father, the sun goes with him
He opens my mind and my soul to my dream.
A dream that’s more real than all of the games.
A dream that gives me a sense of purpose.
When I follow the father I don’t question His call. I understand that His call is the best for me. Not only I understand at an intellectual level but also at an emotional level. As the child had his needs satisfied, become content, so am I now. The dream is a new reality that I am walking in. The word „dream” reminds me of the child going to sleep and having a dream. I also want to say that inside of me I had a hunger and thirst for finding meaning and satisfaction in life; a dream that I did not know how to fulfill on my own but now with the help of the father I am walking in it. Looking behind I see the things that I left as mere shadows compare to my new assignment. At this point I am satisfied and I have found the purpose of my life.
Now I’m certain that following you
Is what I’m meant to be and to do.
This is a summary of my life. I am certain that I am meant to be a follower of the one and only God. I am certain that following his commends is what I am meant to do. This is what gives me a sense of purpose, a sense of fulfillment, and a sense of completion or safety.
How I got to trust God was the same way the child in my poem did. First I questioned who God is and what he wants from me. The first call from him was to trust him with my life and believe in him that he knows what was best for me. He should me his love in the fact that he died for me but also in His patience. While He was waiting, I was busy proving myself that I could satisfy my needs just fine and I didn’t need God. The more I’ve tried the emptier I’ve got and darkness was closing in on me. Since God created me He had an advantage. He not only was talking to my mind but also to my soul. The arguments I could control just fine but the hunger for something more than this world I could not deny. My longings, desires and dreams God put in me. And I finally said yes to his call and started the journey of my life and my soul. I have a loving father the creator of the universe that wrote to me a detailed leather with His purpose for my life. Not only that I have His words with me but God also lives in me. Some might consider the Bible a fiction story, but this story is my reality and just because someone does not comprehend, it does not mean is not true.
When I started the journey with God, many times his commands I did not embrace very easily. Let’s take for example, not cheating on tests was a commend that I have broken at times. I look back and no one knows or cares about my score on geography test from 17 years ago, but God wanted to form a character in me. Giving 10% of my income was another call. Over the years I’ve learned that giving benefits me so much that I have double it. It’s no longer a cold law that I obey but I privilege I don’t want to miss. Staying sexually inactive until after the marriage and being faithful to my husband is not merely a law, it is an extraordinary advantage for my marriage. I do not worry about sexually transmitted diseases. I do not compare my husband with other men. Did I lose anything? I don’t think so. I’ve gain. I’m free of worries. It’s God's way and I believe it is the right way.
God did not only call me to obey a commend but to follow different paths in life, like careers, be a mother, a wife, come to USA. I remember the year before we came to the USA. I worked for an Italian corporation as a bookkeeper. My mother had died living me and my husband the owners of a house, clear from any debt. My husband was finishing his bachelor's in science and was already working as a teacher in high school. Never been more comfortable in my life. Had some toys, like a computer, TV and in the way to have running water in the house. When I wrote the verses,
„To stay when he calls me to go, is not easy
The toys lose their color, the games lose their meaning.”
I was thinking exactly about that year. I could not understand why I and my husband had the burning desire to leave the town or the country. All of a sudden we started to look in the sky for airplanes imagining that we are flying to another country like Austria or England. Our imagination was limited to Europe. Everything started to lose color around us. No, wonder that we sold the house and left the country within two weeks of receiving USA’s visas. God was preparing us for the next call, coming to USA.
After ten hard-working years in this country that now I call home and of which I am a proud citizen, a call from within and without I can sense again. Of all the places in the world, there is no other place where I want to be more that here, in USA. It is my country now, we worked hard and build our own business. We do not have close family members here but our friends are closer to us than a brother. We have more than we ever dreamed of. We have the best doctors in the world. My daughter is alive because she was able to have the surgery needed. We have the freedom to worship and freedom of speech. A person like me that comes from a communist country, that still has the communist spirit lingering over it does not take those freedoms lightly. I found myself thinking more and more about people that are imprisoned for speaking their minds, but especially for believing in God. China. I could blame Randy Alcorn’s novel Safely Home for my thoughts about China, and the hurting people there. It is also something that might leave my mind or grow stronger. I do not know, and I don’t have to. I have to trust that the father knows best.
With my God, I can not even say that the sky is the limit because it’s not. Beyond the sky is eternity. Here on this earth, I am scratching the surface, I am learning the alphabet, I am learning the notes, but the real symphony I will be playing in eternity. To follow God’s call in my life gives me the power to bring dreams to life.

4/25/2010

MB